How deep the Father's Love for Us.

This morning at church we sang the song How deep the Father's love for us. As I was singing, I was instantly filled with extreme guilt and sincere love all at the same time. I stopped and realized what I was actually singing...

How deep the Father's love for us,

How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

What a wretch I am. I am by no means perfect. I am a sinner. But God's love for us is beyond ANY sin, ANY wretch. His love is so pure and so honest. God wants me, a wretch, nasty person, HIS treasure.

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

God's ONLY Son, Jesus, took the most pain that anyone could EVER imagine. So that I, YOU, can have glory.

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocing voice,
Call out among the scoffers

Jesus on the cross, for me. But yet so many times I am mocking Him. I get angry with God and don't realize the ultimate gift that He gave for me. I literally think of the movie, The Passion, with all those people yelling names at Jesus and not believing what He is about to do. I picture myself there with those people at times when I have the opportunity to tell other's about the WONDERFUL sacrifice that Jesus gave for me, but instead I just fall into the sin of the world. I decide to not talk about him. I laugh when God presents plans that didn't fit my own, not realizing that in the end it's HIS plans that will overcome and will be THE BEST FOR ME.

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

It was MY sin that put Him on that cross. He did all that for ME. He did all of that for YOU. But I am so overjoyed, that although He suffered and died, I HAVE LIFE, ETERNAL LIFE.

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

I want this to be my goal. The things of this world will come and will go, but my relationship with Jesus is ETERNAL, NEVER ENDING.

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

There is no reason why me, a sinner, a wretch, should gain from all Jesus had to go through. BUT God's love for us is so strong, so empowering, so unconditonal, that HE DID IT TO BRING ME, TO BRING YOU LIFE! ETERNAL LIFE! JESUS' WOUNDS HAS PAID MY RANSOM.

AMEN!!!

what God has planned...

I just read Jesus Calling and I wanted to share this...

"When adversities strike, the human instinct is to doubt My goodness. My ways are mysterious, even to know who know Me intimately. Do not try to fathom My ways."

Isaiah 55:8-9 says: My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts, says the LORD. And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are high than your ways and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts."

I just thought that was so encouraging to know that we don't have to know God's ways. We try and we try to see what God has for us and we to do the "right" thing that "He has planned". But we fail to really seek His guidance on those situations. We make decisions without consulting Him. We try to do things on our own and we base our decisions on "what God has planned." When we really don't know because we aren't in communication with Him. Try talking with God about things. It doesn't really matter what you are talking about, just talk. God wants that communication with you.

Isaiah says, "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine."

Think about it.

Journal.

This is me being vulnerable. If you know anything about me, my favorite thing to do is journal. I journal prayers, hopes, and struggles. This is a journal entry I did a few days ago when I found out that I will not be attending Physical Therapy school this coming Fall....

It is funny that I bought this journal the time I found out that I had been wait listed for PT school and here I am venting again. I found out in the middle of class, via e-mail, that I was not considered a candidate for the Fall 2011 DPT program. Kara picked me up after class and we went to get ice cream. When we walked in we ran into Amy, Heather, and the two most adorable kids that Amy babysits. God knew what I needed, friends. After ice cream, Amy invited us to go to the park with the kids. This park had a creek. I was watching the 5-year-old, Kate, play. She was splashing around, trying to have fun while not getting her dress wet. God showed me, through Kate, just how I needed to be. Childlike.

When we were little we would play and there was no worry at all. God tells us to have a "childlike" faith. Philippians 4:6-7 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." So why, as adults, do we not act more like kids? You do have those times in life where we will get picked last, or not even at all. The best part of this whole thing is that God has picked us. We were never picked last and we will never be picked last again.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." -James 1:2-4

This verse is my prayer. I pray for perseverance in this season and that in the end I would mature and be complete. I know that I can only become a better person because of this situation that God has placed me in. I can become more childlike, and serve a God who needs to be glorified and exalted.

A year in review...

A few weeks ago at Fellowship,the pastor challenged us to write down 3 of the biggest hardships/battles that we faced in 2010 and also 3 of the biggest blessings that God has given to us in 2010. It was hard for me to come up with 3 battles that I had faced. On the other hand it was so easy for me to come up with 3 blessings.

This post is going to be a picture blog of some of my biggest blessings from 2010:

January:

This was just another Jan-term. The biggest blessing from this month had to of been just spending it my best friend and roommate.

February:

This year I applied and was accepted onto the Step Sing Committee. It was a huge honor and I loved every minute of it. I got to serve alongside my roommate, who was the director, and some of my good friends.

Jane and I also took a weekend away from reality and hit up the beach! We took a road trip to Seaside, FL. We spent the whole weekend in prayer and praise. We just needed a break from life and a weekend to praise and worship our Creator and Savior. It was such a wonderful weekend.

March:

The best thing about this month was spring break. I went with 29 other college friends to Port St. Joe, FL. It was absolutely incredible. We spent each night worshipping and grew in relationship with each other during the day. I grew so much in my faith during this trip.

April:

I ran my first half marathon! 13.1 miles. I did it with my best friend Emily Smothers as well as about 20 other Chi Omega's from Samford. This has been one of my goals since high school. Our goal time was to run it in under 2 hours, we finished in 1:59:??. I don't remember exactly the seconds.

May:

Nothing really eventful happened this month. That's kinda sad.

June:

Thanks to Jane, I was able to attend my first medical mission trip to Nicaragua. I worked with a physical therapist, Larry (pictured). During this 2 week trip, God really showed me that medical missions is clearly something that I need to do.

July:

The biggest blessing this month was seeing my sister, Martha Blair get married. She is an absolutely wonderful person and I absolutely love having an official brother!

August:

I went white water rafting for the first time ever with Kairos Nashville. We went to the Ocoee in Chattanooga, TN. I was obsessed with it and wanted to become a rafting guide.

I started sponsoring the sweetest little girl, thanks for World Vision.

Most crazy of all, I started my senior year of college! This is a picture of the senior pledge class in Chi O.

September:

September brought my senior research project which I FINALLY finished in December. The picture is from our poster presentation that we did in November.

October:

My best friend, Becca, got engaged this month. I couldn't have been more blessed to be involved in celebrating as well as being asked to be in her wedding come June 4, 2011!!

November:

I finally got to go to formal with my high school best friend, Andrew. I asked him freshman year of college to attend, but due to scheduling conflicts he couldn't come. We had such a wonderful time.

I ran in the Boulevard Bolt, a 5 mile run Thanksgiving morning, with Jane. This was my first race since July due to an injury. I was so thankful to be able to run again.

December:

I officially started dating my best friend of 7 years, Andrew.

Kara and I FINALLY placed in the cookie making party with our cookie of Michael Jackson.

Overall, this year has been so incredible. I learned many new things about myself as well as learning more about God and His plans for me. I am so excited to see what God has planned for 2011.

Initial step of faith..

Last Sunday, at Fellowship church, in Nashville, the pastor talked about what means to have Abrahamic faith. Most Christians understand that Abraham was known for his faith to God.

A little background information in case you don't know, which is completely fine that is why I am here. This is from Genesis 12:1-4

God told Abraham to "leave your native country, your relatives, and your father's family, and go to the land that I will show you." Basically God told Abraham to leave everything behind, everything Abraham ever knew, and go. Abraham didn't know where he was going or what he was going to do. God told Abraham, " I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to others. I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt. All the families on earth will be blessed through you." What did Abraham do? He went, "So Abraham departed as the Lord had instructed."

Abraham didn't know what he was getting into. All he knew was that God called him to do something and he obeyed. Hebrews 11:8 says, "It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going."

What does that have to do with today you might be wondering? ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING! This summer God has been teaching me a little about what it means to live obediently to Him and trust Him with everything. It wasn't until I had to take my GRE for grad school that it really all made sense.

God isn't going to call you into something that He doesn't already have figured out. He knows exactly what is going to happen. There are times we have to be like Abraham and just live by faith. We don't know where God is going to call us, but He tells us to go. I know God has called me to be a physical therapist. When I took my GRE yesterday it didn't seem like I was going to get into grad school. There will be trials during these callings that God gives us. Theses trials are there to help us learn to live by faith. James 1:2-4 tells us that "when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete nothing." A few verses later in verse 12 it says: "God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."

Abraham took that initial step of faith to realize that God really is in control. If God calls us to something, if He promises something, He is going to keep that promise. That is part of who God is. Right now, all I can do is to live in trust and live by faith to know that God will keep up His end of the deal. I have to do my work, but in the end God will come through. He always does.

So as you go through your day today, think about how you are living in faith and obedience to God. Are you willing to take that initial step into God's journey for you? Is God calling you to go and live by His trust?

Pray. Trust. and Live.

"We should not trust in ourselves but in God." —2 Corinthians 1:9.

Wow, I haven't blogged in such a long time! I am so sorry. Life has just gotten incredibly busy lately. Anyways, God is just continuing to work in my life each and every single day.

Every week at Young Life training Eric talks about a different part of young life in Birmingham. This particular week the spotlight was on Restoration Academy and Capernaum. Capernaum is young life for kids with special needs. When I heard about this, my heart absolutely lit up and I knew this is what I needed to do.
Last semester, Spring 09, I volunteered at the Lakeshore Foundation. It's like an athletic site for people with all different kinds of special needs. I helped out with their track and field team as well as a few swim meets. These kids are the most extraordinary people I have never met. There is nothing like watching a blind kid swim a 200 meter butterfly and win. Or helping a kid in a wheelchair throw a discuss. These kids brought so much joy into my life in just the short time I was there. When I came back to my room after that night of Eric speaking, I knew special kids is my calling. I can't put into words what I was feeling at the time. It was the most exciting, fearful, joyous, peaceful feeling I have ever experienced. I know God is calling me to this. I am so thrilled to watch it all play out.

This past week we had the "scary" talk during training. This talk was suppose to help you realize if God really was calling you to this ministry or if you are doing it for the wrong intentions. I payed close attention to what Eric had to say. I wanted to make sure that this is really what God wants me to do. The whole time I just had this peace come flood inside me. It was the best feeling in the world, I know that this really is what God is calling me to do.

I have my interview this week to become a Young Life leader. So if you would please just continue to pray for that as well as my placing in either a high school or a middle school. I know God will place me in the school in Birmingham that He needs me the most.

Everyday is a struggle. It's hard having to juggle tests, quizzes, homework, Young Life, small group, bible study, tutoring, and Step Sing planning all into one week. At the end of the week I look back and just sigh. I know God is going to get me through whatever He places me in. You just have to have the patience to wait for it all to be over. In the mean time, you pray for God's strength. If you are having a crazy week, just stop and pray. Philippians tells us to "Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for what He has done."
That's my challenge.
Pray.



For other parts of my life...
My family had to put to sleep our 17 year old dog this past weekend. We have had this dog for atleast 14 or 15 years. It was one of the hardest thing to do. He was not doing well and just really needed this. Please pray for my family. I know some people might think, it's just a dog, but this was not just a dog. He was a part of my life for so many years. His name was Buddy.

Protection.

The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. He is my refuge, my savior, the one who saves me from violence. I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise.

- 2 Samuel 22:2-45

There is nothing like God's protection.

Yesterday I was driving home from Samford to just visit some family that was in town. I knew there was going to be bad weather once I hit the state line. I didn't know how bad until around mile 20. The weather was raining and then would stop and then it would pour again.

I get around mile 15 or so and it had just stopped raining. I then prayed that God would protect me through this storm. I asked him to put his right hand over my car and to just guide my car. I was going about 73 mph when the bottom fell out again, naturally I stepped on the brake so slow down a bit. When I did my car hydroplaned. I turned my car into the swerve. My car swerved into the right lane, kept on turning and then went into the grass and my trunk hit a rock cliff wall thing. At that time, I kept going and my car then turned again so that the drivers side was up against the wall.

I sat there for a minute and didn't really know what to do. I tried to get out of the drivers side but was unable to open the door. I crawled out of the passengers side and just stood there in shock. Luckily a red truck and an Army hummer stopped to help. I called my mom and the whole family came to Giles Co. to come find me. In the mean time, I had also called 9-1-1 to get checked out. The EMT's took me to the ER to have x-rays on my neck. I layed on that dumb backboard for a good 2.5 hrs.

Anyways, it turns out I have cranial spinal strain. A.k.a. severe whiplash. I have to wear a soft collar for a week.

I know God was truly watching over me. I didn't have a scratch or a bruise anywhere on me. Once you see pictures of the wreck you will have no idea how I only walked away with "whiplash". There wasn't a car in the right lane either so no one else was hurt. I knew God had his hand on my car and guided me safely to the side of the road.

Here's another cool thing:
A family friend called me this morning to check in on me. She told me that yesterday her school had a pep rally. She had to get things done for her class so she didn't attend it. Instead she went to make copies. She started to make copies when the copier started to freak out. It was blinking and saying WARNING DANGER AT LINE 220. She didn't think anything about it at the time. When I told her about my wreck, she asked about what time it had happened. I said around 2:20. She then told me the whole story. Isn't that just so incredible?

God does protect his children. He places His strong right hand on us. As 2 Samuel states, He is my shield and my protection. God was my shield. I didn't get a scratch, the air bags didn't deploy. He deserves all the praise for keeping me safe.

Here are some pictures from the wreck:

My back windshield was completely smashed out. My bumper fell off and was later placed into my back window. The left tail light is still on the side of the road. My front bumper got knocked off on the drivers side.

Trust in God's protection, cause He will deliver. He will be ahead of you in your paths and will never abandon you.

"Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” -Deut. 31:8